Shirtless
by muggleborn444
Summary: After seeing James wander nonchalantly through the Head's common room shirtless, Lily has to come to term with her "apparent" feelings for said Marauder. With a stripping contest, and Auntie Alice for guidance, this story is pure hilarity & fluff! Review!
1. Chapter 1: Sparked Attentions

**A/N: Finally, the long awaited story SHIRTLESS! Umm… not much else to say about it… the title is kind of self-explanatory. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize, yada, yada, yada.**

**Claimer: We own the plot. Sort of.**

SHIRTLESS

Chapter 1: Sparked Attentions

I have always been a rather self-conscious person. I don't really have a problem with public displays of academic prowess; in fact, I rather enjoy answering every question the teacher poses with 110% of the answer. I am, however, a tad bit insecure when it comes to showing off my body. When I wear skirts, they are at least knee-length, longer if possible. And low-cut tops are definite no-nos. Extremely unfortunately, my co-worker, peer, and roommate certainly does not share this same self-consciousness.

James Potter labors under the sad, sad delusion that he is one of the best-looking males in the school. Sure, he's attractive, but not _that_ attractive. And the sad part is that everyone agrees with him! I'm actually one of the few who doesn't. Anyway, he likes to show off his body. A lot.

So technically, it shouldn't have been a surprise when he just came waltzing into our Head's common room this afternoon with NO SHIRT ON. I mean, really, who does he think he is? The headmaster? Honestly! Have some respect for your poor roommate who has to see these things!

I was lying sideways on one of our squashy armchairs, scribbling away at the Potions essay in my lap, with my inkwell perched (now that I look back on it), rather precariously on my knee. I was perfectly innocent, just doing my homework, when in he walked, SHIRTLESS! So it definitely wasn't my fault that as soon as I caught sight of him, I lost all sense of my surroundings, and turned my body to follow the movement of his across the common room. Of course, once I had turned around the full 180 degrees, I realized that my ink had spilled all over my parchment and myself. That was enough to break me out of my reverie, and once I had my senses about me, I was able to yell at James while also trying to clean up the mess he had caused.

"Potter! What are you doing?"

"Er… Walking?"

"Not that, what are you doing without a shirt?"

"Didn't know you minded Evans! Fancy a date in Hogsmeade this Saturday?"

I rolled my eyes and then started in on him again. "No, I will NOT go out with you. Not THIS Saturday, not NEXT Saturday, not ANY Saturday. Not EVER for that matter." I crossed my arms, and quickly turned around, hiding my face while trying to clean up my robes. I hope he didn't see my blush. Not that I like him or anything, but honestly. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, PLEASE!

He shrugged his shoulders and kept walking towards his bedroom as if nothing had happened. Which I guess to him, nothing did. I mean, he startles me every day, he asks me out every day, and I say 'No' every day. I've never been this flustered before though! What's gotten into me? I don't know, but whatever it is, Alice can figure it out. Alice Conroy is my personal girl advice giver. She knows everything there is to know about girls and boys, relationships and feelings... even the weird way my face heated up just then. I bet it's nothing... I mean, he _was_ half-naked! But you can never be too certain, so I hopped up and left my Potions homework to go take a visit to my old bedroom.

I hurried to the portrait of the Fat Lady, and quickly slipped inside. I was in luck! Alice sat on a couch with a few of my other friends, Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, Remus Lupin, and that other blockhead Sirius Black. Remus and Sirius are friends with James, but only Remus is tolerable. I walked over as calmly possible.

"LILS!" Marlene shouted, grinning widely. "Decided to grace us with your presence, eh? What... finish all your homework?" They all laughed good-naturedly.

"As much as I would love to ditch my Potions essay for your sarcastic wit, I actually have to finish it before class tomorrow, and I still have two feet left. I came by to grab Alice for a minute." Marlene sighed and shook her head theatrically and then turned back to her conversation with Sirius. Alice grinned at me mischievously.

"Hmmmmm. Let me guess. This is about James." She grinned. Remus and Sirius' heads shot up to look at me. I shook my head defiantly.

"It is NOT. If I were to come to anyone about James it would be Marlene." They all looked shocked that I would ever talk about James.

"Because Marley is better with coming up with ideas for torture and death." The boys rolled their eyes, and Alice jumped to her feet.

"C'mon Lils, let's go over to those armchairs and you can tell Auntie Alice all about it."

After we'd settled down, I leaned over and started whispering. "I was doing my Potions essay in the armchair by our fire, with my ink on my knee-cap, and then _James_ comes waltzing in WITHOUT A SHIRT ON!" I looked scandalized. Alice just looked at me.

"So it _was_ about James."

I punched her in the arm.

"That's not all. I yelled at him, he asked me out, I refused..."

"So what's new?"

"WOULD YOU LET ME FINISH?!?! Okay and then he shrugged and went into his room, and that's when I got this funny feeling in my stomach and my face got a bit heated, and I don't know why! James and I have that conversation all the time, but I've never flushed before!" I finished, a tad desperately, and looked up at Alice expectantly. And she was laughing. At me. I growled.

"S-s-sorry, it's j-just th-that you are s-so CLUELESS! D-don't you s-see what this means?"

I was a bit upset. I just told her a very worrying problem and she is laughing at me. "Alice, if I knew what this meant, WOULD I BE SITTING HERE ASKING YOU?!?" She finally calmed down enough to talk without chuckling in between every other word.

"You see Lily, it is quite obvious. You. Are. FINALLY. Falling. For. James. Potter." She smiled.

My eyes flew open and I started to shake my head furiously. "Oh, no. OH, no. There is NO way. James? James POTTER? ME? No, that's not possible!" I kept shaking my head. Alice grinned to herself.

"You see him half-naked and you are embarrassed for no reason." I was about to point out that I get flushed when I see ANYONE half-naked, but Alice seemed to read my mind. "You didn't even notice that Sirius is not wearing a shirt either." I whipped my head around, and sure enough, Sirius _wasn't_ wearing a shirt. I turned and raised an eyebrow at Alice. "They were swimming in the lake." She informed me. I broke in then.

"So I didn't notice Sirius, big deal. I make it a point in my life NOT to notice Sirius. I recognize this as an accomplishment."

"Fine then. Make whatever excuses you will for that. What about that funny feeling in your stomach when he grinned at you?"

"Old chocolate." I immediately responded.

Alice shook her head. "You eat old chocolate all the time. Clearly, the funny feeling is the attraction you are feeling for James." Before I could deny this, she put up a hand. "AND, you were flustered enough that you spilled ink all over yourself and started to blush."

"I am a very flustered person."

"LILY. YOU FOLLOWED HIS HALF NAKED FORM WITH YOUR EYES ACROSS THE ROOM. NORMAL PEOPLE WHO DON'T FEEL ANYTHING FOR CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT." After this whispered outburst, Alice took a deep breath. "Fine. Don't believe me. Go on being sad and delusional. But when you finally go out on a date, remember. I TOTALLY told you so." She made to stand up, but I threw my arms out.

"Do NOT mention this to anyone else. Well, maybe you can tell Marlene if the topic comes up in conversation, but _not_ where anyone else could possibly overhear... I don't want people believing that I could actually... _like_ James Potter. Because that is a LIE."

Alice rolled her eyes and nodded before going to sit with her friends. Now even more on edge than I was before, I walked back to our room in a daze. I walked into the common room, and I couldn't help but think about what Alice had said. Could I be falling for Potter? JAMES Potter? No. Impossible. But even as I thought this, I felt my eyes drawn to his bedroom door where I could see James' shadow on the floor.

**A/N: So…? Like it? Hate it? **_**Love it? **_** Want the next chapter soon? REVIEW!!!**


	2. Chap 2: Late Nights and Chocolate Highs

CHAPTER 2: A Contest

AN: I KNOW THAT IT HAS BEEN FOREVER!!! April break is coming up though and I (CA) at least plan on updating a lot more. This chapter has been done since last November, I just never posted it. Sorry guys! Please read and review!!!

Ugh. Although my friends are convinced that I am the perfect student who finishes her homework the minute she gets it, the call of chocolate had once again overcome all desires to finish my Potions essay. I had come back from "Auntie Alice the Mental" and gone straight up to my room to polish off the old chocolate I claimed made my stomach feel weird. Hey, its chocolate! Anyways, that would explain why I am scribbling madly at nearly one in the morning, as I race to finish my Potions essay and get a few hours of sleep as well.

And that is when I heard the footsteps. I glanced up quickly, maybe too quickly, and my stomach did that weird flip-flop thing when I saw James coming down the stairs. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate. He did a double take when he noticed me sitting in the same armchair as I had earlier that day.

"Erm, what are you doing, Lils? It is one in the morning." He yawned and looked around our common room.

"What are you doing in the common room at one in the morning?" I shot back.

"I heard you muttering to yourself and came down to make sure you weren't planning my death." He managed to say this with a straight face.

"Well EXCUSE ME! I'm just trying to finish my stupid bloody Potions essay." I crossed my arms, nearly upending the ink bottle again. Before it could empty its contents on my knees though, James was suddenly next me, holding it out.

"You haven't finished that yet?" he asked me incredulously. I blushed and shook my head.

"I was muttering to myself because I can't find a way to stretch this last sentence out for two inches. I have fully explained and elaborated every blasted detail for this stupid topic and I STILL have two inches. James bent over my paper. My heart accelerated. What's my excuse for that, eh? I HAVE just been sitting here, and I'm not scared or surprised... maybe Alice was right... I mean I have never noticed how tall and lean James was. The way his t-shirts clung to his 6-pack and biceps. The slight shadow on the lower half of his face because he needs to shave. The way his forehead scrunches up when he is concentrating, the way his dark hair seems to wave as the light dances across it, the way his hazel eyes penetrate your soul... oh crap. Those penetrating eyes are looking straight at me. Is he talking to me? "Huh, what?" Wow Lily. Wow. So intelligent. That's right, grunt at the guy trying to help you out.

"I said are you okay?"

"Yeah... I just zoned. I'm a bit tired."

Thank Merlin he accepted that. "I think I can help... just do this," he tapped my parchment, and I watched as my handwriting grew almost imperceptibly bigger. Big enough to fill those last two inches.

"Thank you!" I grinned. "Now I just need to SLEEP!" James looked at me funny. "Sorry. It's just I rarely sleep... for 6 years I could blame Alice, Marley, and Dorcas, but now I realize I must be an insomniac or something..." I trailed off and blushed. "Sorry, probably too much information..."

"No. It's okay. Well, if you aren't going to sleep right now, do you wanna make a kitchen run?"

I just looked at him. "A WHAT?"

"A kitchen run. We go eat a lot of sugar in the kitchens when everyone else is asleep because we aren't." That actually sounds like a good plan. Screw sleeping, I need some chocolate that is not from who knows how long ago.

"I'm in!" I agreed. He looked shocked. I wonder why? When have I ever turned down sugar. I packed my stuff up and left it on the table for when I would grab it in the morning. I then followed James out of the portrait hole.

"So do you do this often?" He asked. I must have looked confused because he explained, "Wait until the last minute to finish essay's and stuff." I nodded sheepishly. He laughed and ran his hand through his sexy hair. I mean his hair.

"Do YOU do this often? I mean kitchen runs." He grinned at me and nodded. We walked in silence for a minute or two before stopping in front of a portrait with fruit in it.

"Tickle the pear." He told me. I shrugged and then did as he said. The pear giggled and the portrait swung open. Mmmmmmm that smells delicious.

"'Scuse me sir and misses, how may I help you?" I looked down at the tiny house-elf in front of me.

"Oh! Hi!" And I waved. Because I am an idiot, that's why. I blushed and put my hand down. James spoke up.

"Hey Tinks. Could we sit down? I think Lily will be wanting some chocolate, and I will have the same." I looked at him amazed. He shrugged. "I heard you cursing your lack of chocolate earlier. Come on." He led me over to a small table by a fireplace. I looked around.

"This is nice. Can't believe I didn't know about it earlier. How did you FIND this?" He shrugged and grinned. He does that a lot. Crap. I need to stop noticing these things. Just as the silence was about to get awkward, Tinks and several other house elves came scurrying over with platter of every chocolate thing you could imagine. I was in heaven. I dug in with reckless abandon. I would have been apalled with this behavior had James not done the exact same thing. We slowed down every once and a while a I was surprised how easily I could talk to him. We got on rather well! And then he said it.

"Lils, I would rather be friends than nothing at all. What do you say?" I just sat there. Of course. OF COURSE! The minute I decide to give James Potter a try, he gives up on me. But I too would rather be friends that nothing. So I nodded and watched as his face split into a grin. Glad I could make HIM happy... then again... it is easier to seduce someone you are friends with than your enemy, so this situation will work out for me as well.

O Merlin did I just say SEDUCE? What has gotten INTO me? Wait, where is James going? "Umm, James?" He looked down at me from where he was standing. "Where are you going?" He chuckled and pointed to a clock hanging above the fireplace. HOLY MOTHER OF MERLIN IT IS 7:30 IN THE MORNING! I AM GOING TO BE LATE FOR BREAKFEST! AND THEN POTIONS!!! I jumped up and bowed (stupid Lily, stupid Lily, stupid Lily) to the house elves, said thank you, and dragged James out of the kitchen. Laughing James caught up to me and we sprinted up the five flights of stairs and downt the three corridors to get to our common room.

But this is my life, of course, and as we passed the Great Hall, I saw Alice, Marley, Dorcas, Remus, and Sirius. Since they were at the top of a staircase we didn't need to use, we ignored them and kept running. But I did NOT like the look on Alice and Marley's faces... on any of them for that matter. But I had no time to spare a thought for the hell I would be in at breakfest because James had grabbed my hand.

We rushed into our seperate bedrooms, changed into our school uniforms (we had been in pajamas!) and then grabbed our bags and hurried down to breakfest. By the time we got to the door of the Great Hall we were wheezing from running and laughing hard at the same time.

Even though I dearly love most of the Hogwarts inhabitants, walking into the Great Hall I did NOT appreciate the sudden silence and the whispers that erupted all around as James and I were pointed and stared at. I mean, yes I know seeing James Potter and Lily Evans laughing together, looking like they didn't sleep because they were too busy talking is a very strange scenario that would have been impossible yesterday, but still. DUMBLEDORE was gossiping for Merlin's sake! He and Professor McGonagall were talking, as well as all the other teachers. They are just as bad as the students.

Still chuckling, James and I made our way over to our friends and sat down next to each other.

"Good Morning Lily." Marley said, a glint in her eye. Oh no. Ohnononononono! Marley only calls me Lily when she's planning something. "Did you finish that essay last night?"

"Erm... no. Not quite... I finished it around one..." The group all raised their eyebrows.

"What else did you get up to _this morning?_" Okay I do NOT like the way 'this morning' is being implied. Before I could come up with a witty comeback, James went and totally SPILLED! I mean hello? Is he not aware that the girls will never let me live this down???

"Lily woke me up and we couldn't sleep, so we went to the kitchens and ate chocolate." Five pairs of eyes swiveled to my face. Sirius was laughing and punching James in the arm, Remus was shaking his head and grinning, and Alice, Marley, Dorcas all just raised their eyebrows. Oh crap. And then James KEEPS TALKING. I want to tell him to shut up, but mates don't do that sort of thing do they? "We've decided to be friends." At this the mood slightly faltered. Sirius looked downright shocked, Remus was still grinning, and I now had 3 glares burning into my forehead. I started to eat.

"How much chocolate did Lily have, exactly?" Dorcas suddenly piped up. James looked at me and shrugged. He then spouted of a list of every single thing I had eaten that morning. I put down my fork. How could I still be hungry? Sirius and Remus were now looking, mouths opened shocked at me. Sirius looked slightly awed. The girls now looked worried and slowly slid a bit back on the bench across from me. "You do realize that Lily is going to be hyper for the next 2 WEEKS! She will never sleep AGAIN!" Marley threw a fork at him. "Then again... you're the one who has to sleep with her!"

Now I spoke up. "Excuse me? We are not even sleeping in the same _room_." Marley just waved me off. Well! Fine then. I jumped up, suddenly feeling all the chocolate coursing through my veins. This will not be good. "OkaywhateverguysI'mgoingtoPotionsbecauseIdon'." I clamped a hand over my mouth. Oh Merlin. I hate being hyper. I give everything away.

"_James_ fixed_ your ESSAY?!?!"_ Alice hissed in shock.

"." I put my hand back over my mouth. Sirius laughed at me. Meany.

"So I guess that makes up for James walking around shirtless yesterday?" Alice said smiling innocently at me.

I am going to kill her. _Kill _her. _SHE WILL DIE!!!!_ Alice is SUCH an EVIL little girl... Apparently she broke her promise because everyone except James seemed to know what she was talking about. He looked at me. I sighed and took my hand away. "'twearingashirtyesterday." He raised his eyebrows, a grin spreading across his face. "Idon'tlikewhenpeopledon'twearmuchclothing." Hand clapped again.

"In THAT case," James grinned. "I challenge you to a contest." Oh Merlin. He knows that I HAVE to win all contests. It's in my programming or something. This will be bad. "We will take off one article of clothing everyday, and whichever one of us cracks first has to... has to..." he thought about a proper punishment.

I could hear the gears in my evil, evil friends' minds whirring.

Sirius whispered something to Alice who clapped her hands together and sang, "Be the winner's servant for a week!"

I don't know about James, but I am not losing this. Screw seduction, servitude is just demeaning, and unlike seduction, you don't even get anything out of it! I WILL WIN! ... Did I say that outloud? Yes. That is why everyone is looking at me. "I'." I all but sprinted out of the hall. What had I gotten myself into?


End file.
